Track 1 - Telephone Line - ELO - “The Hook”
Hello, how are you?
Have you been alright through all those lonely lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely nights?
It was one of the songs we listened to on our last night together in bed. “There has to be a message here” my bleeding heart cried as my head rolled my eyes, unimpressed, to the back of their lids. Knowing my own stupidity, I still hit stop, rewind, and play again. Each time searching for anything, a single word, a single note, a sign, something to make my heart ache less.
A week earlier I sent him his own custom made mix tape.
This was strike two.
I know, I know, shame on me.
He had been dealing with some "real heavy stuff" and wasn’t into dealing with the distance. It was his choice to not feel the feels. “Must be nice” that bleeding heart of mine uttered, my head rolling those eyes, even more exaggerated and unimpressed with my own dramatics this time.
Was he even worth the head and heart conflict?
My stomach churned each time I pressed the record button when making that tape. Apparently my gut was on the same team as my head this one time and one time only in my entire life, I should have stopped. Yet that stinkin’ heart of mine always has the final say. It’s her way or the highway.
Does anyone know how hard it is to make a mix tape these days? I’m not just talking finding the resources, I mean to be physically present with each and every song because you gotta be ready if that side rolls out of time.
There’s a big difference between mixing a tape and just popping songs on a playlist for someone you kinda dig . Each of those 30 minutes, my hand on the REC, my focus on him. Wasted breath, I know now, but when I was mixing it...? It felt like freekin’ gold, even if his mixed emotions were obvious next to the ones on my sleeve.
Hey, how you feelin'?
Are you still the same, don't you realize the things we did We did were all for real, not a dream
I just can't believe they've all faded out...
We all know those woes. There’s nothing that calls for music therapy like a beaten and beating heart. I mean, realistically I wasn’t going to let my heart beat a minute longer than the remainder of that ELO song, but during those moments that I allowed myself to feel the feels...
I’m Livin' in Twilight.
I really was.
But that’s not what all this is about. After the song ended I had to get back to making those mixed tapes because in the grand scheme of G’s Mix, he was just a solid middle of the pack, not g’s mix vol 1 and not g’s mix vol 19 (like we’re up to now), rather a quite forgettable middle number.
So, why should I start out with this story then, what’s the significance.
The purpose with this track is to set the tone, the mood, throwing down a situation that most of us had been in. I was in a super vulnerable state and I thought that in that moment, you folks might see a piece of yourselves. After all that’s what we do with some of the best and most heartbreaking music, we connect!
Most good stories are like a good mix tape, they aren’t told linearly, rather their starts, middles and ends are so muddled you just gotta sit through it all and think about what you can pull from it once you roll out of tape.
The manifesto you’re reading now is a form of music therapy and it’s just as much about you as it is about me. And you might be thinking to yourself, like any other sane individual in 2018, Why cassette tapes?
Well, that’s an easy question to answer, It’s Mixed tapes... Because I freekin’ say so!
You wanna know why I freekin’ say so? You wanna hear about my mixed tape rejuvenation? Stay tuned for Track 2. The spark of that story also comes from a heartbreak.
That one, however, is one of a much larger magnitude... One so heart, soul and mind consuming there isn’t even a number for it on the Richter scale. But alas, that’s what the next song is for.
Shall we continue?