I left my house this morning when it was still dark outside (as it often is when I go to the gym before work). I looked up at the two remaining stars in the sky, the one's that took their time fizzling out as the sun rose. I found myself thinking about a particular album by the band Beach House. The album called 'Thank your lucky stars', The title transformed into beautiful image that seemed to roll on repeat at the back of my brain all day long...
I knew that the email was going out today, the one letting everyone in the company know I was leaving. It probably seemed shocking to some, but realistically it was something I had discussed with Liam for quite some time. There was never going to be a perfect moment, films was never going to die down and sticking around would just delay the fact that eventually I would have left to pursue freelance work in hopes of finding the time and place for my writing. So, today, I thought about that album, the words rolling round and round in that overcrowded head of mine... because I was terrified! It wasn't just because I was leaving a stable work environment for one that's one second hot and one second not...and not just because I was leaving behind the amazing family, friends and comfort I've found under the shelter of this company... BUT... That anyone in that place would ever think, for a second that I didn't appreciate every single moment being there and all the amazing opportunities that I now have because of this place. I truly thank my lucky stars every day.
My leaving had no reflection of those feelings. None what so ever.
Very quickly, under that blackened morning sky, I downloaded the album and put it on play... and then on repeat, letting it roll in the back of my head along with the notion it inspired in me, the whole day long. When I got your email later this afternoon, I was listening to it then. I was unable to come up with the right words, so I took my time drafting this response.
And here it is;
Thank you for being such an amazing role model for me. I truly aspire to find my way in the industry with the same care, compassion and lightness that you have. You're one in a million Chey! I know this isn't goodbye, I'm going to be around, especially for all the Baseball games. I just think at book-ended moments like these, it's really important to reflect on all you've done, all you've had, and all you have to be thankful for. Most important, in my books, are the people and things that are your shining lights in the darkest night sky, the ones that guide you and give you purpose.
Today my horoscope said that this was going to be one my luckiest days all year long. As I biked home, listening to that album, watching the sun reflecting in the windows of the towering buildings surrounding me, I digested that thought. The road ahead of me, glittering gold, like the kind of luck you find in a pot at the end of a rainbow. Even if the only luck I had all day was the awareness of all I have and all I've been granted, it truly was enough to make this my luckiest day all year.
I will fix up my fantasy team tomorrow, but tonight, I'm heading to bed early, it's been a long day.
Thank you for everything and your kind words.